Dear 2018
Entry posted by labuza ·
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Dear 2018,
We started off so well together. You had so much promise. How foolish I was. I started a blog called “dissertation writing” because you were the year I was going to write my dissertation. I made a bucket list for Baltimore because you were my last shot to do those things before I moved away for some fabulous post-doc position. You gave me so much hope and future, and it didn’t happen.
There were some disappointments 2018, weren’t there? It turns out I was far away from graduating. It turns out part of the grad school process is having the graduation date move farther and farther and farther away. I spent some time trying to remember what went so wrong, but I think it was so many little things. Remember how I spent most of July trying to fix a code and eventually a PI in another lab did it in two hours? Remember that month I spent depressed and couldn’t get much work done? Or the month I spent anxious and didn’t start work because I was convinced it’d fail? Or what about that one assay that STILL doesn’t work! Yup, you really tried to break me down a few times.
But there were some good times too. I was chosen to be an oral presenter at a regional conference. I successfully proposed my thesis. I got an interview for a post-doc, even if I’m still a ways away from starting. I got invited to the SfN presidential reception for writing this blog that’s not actually about dissertation writing. Somehow during this year my CV got so much longer, and it made me feel so successful and accomplished. And that bucket list I mentioned, I finished it, and now I have time to make those adventures twice in a life time experiences.
Yes 2018, you took me on a roller coaster ride. Figuratively and literally. SfN was right by Disneyland and I went on a roller coaster there. You were the year I had to hand over the volunteer group I’ve helped nurture like a child for 3 years. You were also the year they made up an award specifically to recognize me for running that volunteer group. All the ups and downs have left me a little whip lashed. But I’m getting my head ready for the next year.
My dear 2018, you broke a few promises to me. But you also helped me grow more than I thought I was capable of. Moments seemed to last centuries and days felt like seconds flashing by. Thanks for the mix and keeping me on my toes. But 2018, could you do me a favor? Could you talk to your friend 2019? I would really appreciate it if this year I actually did graduate. If I could make a few less mistakes and have a few more successes. It’d really help me out and I’d really appreciate it.
We started on a good foot, 2018, and we ended in some weird dance I still can’t describe. I have yet to process it all. No matter, thanks for the memories.
Your Friend,
Amanda
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